Slayers In.........
by Amori Malee
Summary: Slayers in TV! First chapter in a short series!!!
1. Slayers in TV

Slayer in TV

Lina was in her room at the inn. They had had a long day of traveling and they were all tired. Suddenly there was a light outside. Lina got up to investigate it, and the light went away. She frowned slightly and went back to sit on her bed and the light flashed again. She turned around quickly to try and see the source of it, and it was gone. Getting really pissed off by this point, she turned around again, only to have the light appear again. She was about to scream in frustration when there was a knock at her door. She opened the door to see Gourry, Amelia and Zel.

All in pajamas. 

Well, we'll just call them pajamas.

Zel was wearing the bottom half of your classic, run-of-the-mill pinstripe pajamas. Note- bottom half, no shirt. Amelia was almost giddy.

Gourry had light blue pajamas on that his mother had made for him, with yellow duckies all over them.

Amelia was wearing a little nightgown that was the taddest see through. If Lina didn't know better, she would have sworn that she had put it on JUST for Zel.

All three were looking at her questioningly. Lina wondered why, then realized that she was just wearing a oversized pajama shirt that showed off QUITE a bit of leg. A little embarrased at that, but it could be worse, she could be dressed like Amelia.

"Uh...hi guys...what's up?"

Zel crossed his arms, "Well, in case you haven't noticed, there is a bright light that continues to flash. Kind of hard to sleep with an oversized Night light outside your window."

"Yeah, I noticed it."

"We should go investigate Ms. Lina!" Amelia said cheerfully.

"Well, I'm sure that it will go away soon..."Lina trailed off.

Outside, the light decided to prove that it WOULDN'T go away, and began to blink continously.

"ok ok, we'll go check it out."

******

The group, now fully dressed, were in the woods now, trying to follow the light. But it seemed to not stay in the same place, in fact it just continued to move, leading them deeper and deeper into the woods.

Finally they came to a cave that had the light coming from within it. Walking up to the entrance, they could hear odd music coming from inside.

"Should we go in Ms. Lina?" Amelia asked.

"Well, it doesn't LOOK dangerous..."

"Yeah, but looks can be decieving," Zel threw in.

"Well, aren't you just the fortune cookie reader." Lina said sarcastically.

"Fortune cookie? Come to think of it, I am hungry." Gourry said.

"We'll eat later Gourry," Lina said, "Come on, lets go in."

So the four entered the cave and saw.......................................

Nothing.

Except for a little box on a stand, in front of a chair. Next to the chair was a bowl of popcorn. The light came from the box, but inside the cave, it did not seem as bright as before.

Gourry, of course, headed directly to the popcorn and stood there, munching on the popcorn. "Need salt."

Zel walked up closer to the box. "What IS that?"

Suddenly a voice was heard out of nowhere "That...is a secret"

The light got brighter and blanketed the cave. And in a flash, they were gone. Xellos appeared in the chair and caught the bowl of popcorn that Gourry had dropped. He picked up a small rectangular thing and pointed it at the tv, all the time giggling maniacally. 

******

Music plays, the audience prepares for the show. As the camera zooms in on the little living room set, a very confused Lina and Gourry stand by the couch.

"Uh, Lina...why are we all black and white? And why do I have this funny accent?" Gourry asked Lina in a thick cuban accent.

A voice is heard "5..4..3..2..1..Welcome to the 'I Love Lina' show 

starring Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev!" the audience claps 

enthuisastically.

Lina and Gourry share horrified glances.

"With special appearances by.... Zelgadiss Greywords and Amelia Wil Tessa Sailoon as those Wacky neighbors, Fred and Ethel!"

Theres a knock on the door and Gourry goes to answer it. On the other side is Amelia in a fluffy plaid dress, smiling away and Zel, arms crossed in a suit with a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"Um...hi guys" Gourry says. The audience laughs. "What the..." Gourry looks around. The audience laughs some more.

"Ok....so, why are we here?" Lina asked.

"And where IS here?" Zel added.

The audience laughs furiously.

"Um, why do they keep laughing at us?" Amelia asked no one in particular.

"Cause we're funny?" Gourry questionably replied.

The audience snickers.

"Ok, this really bites. I DO NOT like being black white and gray! I miss my red hair! Waaahhhh........" Lina sat down on the couch and cried. The rest look on with astonished faces. Lina catches herself. "Why did I just do that?"

"Now Lina, quit your crying. You know I have to go down to the club and -what the?" Gourry stopped and scratched his head, "What did I just say? What's a club?"

"Hmm, it seems the longer that we're here, where ever HERE is, we get brainwashed..."Zel commented.

"Oh Zel!" Amelia smacked Zel in the chest, only hurting herself. "Ow!"

The audience is roaring by this point.

"Ok, I don't care WHERE the HELL we are, we just need to get the *&@#$ out of here!" Lina yelled.

The audience gasps in absolute horror.

"Um, I don't think that was ok, Ms. Lina..." 

The audience begins to boo them.

"I don't think they like us anymore...." Gourry said.

"Waaah!" Lina cried.

"We need to get out of here, she's begining to scare me," Zel said.

The audience begins to get out of their seats and are approaching the stage.

"Oh &*#%$!"Lina, "What is there-Ahhhhhhhhh!"

Somewhere in between her violent swearing and the audience charging them, they had been 'transported' to a forest.

"I am wearing leather!" Lina yelled in shock.

"Same here" Zel said

"uh...me too." Gourry said looking down.

"Whoa, I'm lucky! No leather for me!" Amelia said cheerfully.

"Yeah, you just look like a peasant hooker." Lina said.

"Ms. Lina!"

"Where are-?" Gourry began.

This is a story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend-a booming voice said-_where the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and plagued mankind with pain and suffering. Only one man dared to challenge their power..........HERCULES! _The voice continued rambling, but by then no one was listening.

"Hercules?" they all asked, with stupified expressions on their faces.

"So, who's who?" Gourry asked.

A man in a really REALLY bad outfit came strolling up, wearing some sort of pail thing on his head and a pie tin on his chest.

"Oh, THERE you guys are!" the guy said.

All four looked at him questioningly.

"And who are you?" Zel asked him.

"Don't tell me you forgot me already Iosles!" The guy said to him, "Me! Jauxer!"

"Ok, so that means YOUR Hercules" Zel said, pointing at Gourry and laughing, "Have fun challenging the gods!"

"Well at least I"M the main character!"

Lina turned to Jauxer, "Ok, so who am I?"

"Oh come one Xena! I know you couldn't forget me already!" Jauxer laughed, then walked over to Amelia, "How are you Gabrielle?"

"Um, who's Xena?" Lina asked.

"Oh come on! Xena, are you having another memory loss thing?"

Jauxer sighed, "Alright, you are Xena, Warrior Princess! Greatest Warrioress in the world. Or, well, you and Callisto are up there together but...."

"Warrior....Princess?" Lina asked.

"Not fair! I'm the princess!" Amelia whined.

"Oh, did they get you all or what?" Jauxer exclaimed, "Did Ares or Hera or someone put another spell on you?"

"Um, yeah....so, fill us in, ok?" Lina said.

"Ok, Hercules here is the son of Zeus, King of the Gods, Iosles is his sidekick, they go around the country and right wrongs and such."

"I'm HIS sidekick?" Zel asked in a horrified voice.

"Anyways.....Xena, you me and Gabrielle go around and do the same thing."

"Wouldn't it be just easier to travel together?"

"Oh, but then how could we have these fun crossovers?"

"What?" Lina asked him.

"Oh, a cross over is when you-"

Suddenly they weren't there any more. They also weren't together anymore. Amelia and Zel were now in dark suits in the woods. A bright light was shining down on them from above.

"Somehow I think this is NOT a good thing" Zel said to Amelia.

"What makes you say that Mr. Zelgadiss?"

"Well, because we're floating up to that ship there and I don't remember casting levitation, do you?"

"Uh oh...."

"My thoughts exactly."

******

Meanwhile, Lina and Gourry were sitting at a table in a _lovely_ dining room. There was a centerpiece and everything. Some women with short blonde hair hustled around the kitchen, all the while talking to a big black thing that some guy was holding and following around with. 

"Ok, now we are going to baste the turkey," She said, _way_ too cheerfully. "Make sure that you spread it evenly throughout the turkey, or else some will get dryed out."

"Now, this is what it will look like when your finished," she said, carrying the turkey to the table, "now just add you favorite touches to the table and you dinner is--hey!"

Lina and Gourry, who were HUNGRY ignored her yell and began to tear into the turkey.

"Who are you people! Get away from that turkey!" she yelled.

When they ignored further, she left the dining room for the kitchen. Coming back with a giant meat cleaver, she screamed at them, "NOBODY MESSES WITH MARTHA STEWARTS DINNER AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! AHHHHHHHHHH!" she charged at them, swinging the cleaver.

Gourry and Lina, now slightly scared, ran, still munching on the turkey, around the dining table, Martha following. 

******

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Amelia screamed as she was strapped to a table.

"Be quit human......"the alien said to her "YOUR VOICE IS INFURIATING!"

The alien, large green headed with little slits for eyes, walked towards her and Zel, both strapped to the table.

"It is time for the probe," the alien continued, waving the tool dangerously.

"Ah, this can't be good..."Zel observed.

"What are we going to do, Mr. Zelgadiss," Amelia squealed, "Before we get, uh, probed I need to tell you something very important..."

"What Amelia?"

"I............."

******

Now that she had finished off her part of the turkey, Lina whirled around to face Martha.

"FIREBALL!" she yelled and pointed and........nothing happened.

"What!"

"What happened Lina?" Gourry asked.

"I don't know, But keep running until I figure it out!"

Martha climbed up on the table and began to kick dishes and the centerpiece at them as the ran by, "I'm gonna KILL you! DIE! DIE!" she then jumped at Lina, who, being a little scared by the fact that her magic wouldn't work AND a deranged psycho was throwing and kicking stuff at her and telling her to die, did not move out of the way right away. Martha came screaming towards her.........

******

Suddenly there was no Martha and no aliens although some would say the two go hand in hand. Just the four of them, running. On the beach. In swimsuits. In slow motion.

"_Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light. Some people need to help somebody......."_ the music trailed off.

"What the HELL is going on!!" Lina screamed, as they all continued to run in slow motion.

"I don't know Ms. Lina, but I'm......" Amelia started.

Suddenly they weren't on the beach anymore, they were in a living room, a fancy one at that, and were both wearing elegant dresses, and LOTS of jewerly.

"...scared?" Amelia finished.

_"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days Of Our Lives"_

"Where are we now?" Lina whined as Gourry burst through the door.

"Lina my Love! I must warn you! Your evil sister is plotting your demise!" he pointed at Amelia, "Stay away from her you fiend!"

Both just blinked for a second at him, sweat-drops appearing above their heads. Then Amelia burst out crying.

"I am NOT a fiend!"

Zel then walked through the door and attacked Gourry, "How DARE you try to seduce my wife!"

"What? I would not touch that snake of a wife of yours if you paid me, which brings me to.....Where's my money? I took care of the 'problem' of yours! Compensation!" Gourry yelled back.

"Snake? At least MY wife has a chest!"

At this point both girls face fault, look down at their chests, then at each other, "oh........Oh!"

"Well at least my wife isn't the most annoying creature on the face of the planet!"

Amelia understand that one rather quickly, and something took hold of her.

"I...AM...NOT....ANNOYING!" she screamed as she jumped on Gourry's back and began to pull his hair.

The same thing that took hold of Amelia now took hold of Lina. She grabbed Amelia by the hair, tugging her off of Gourry, "Keep your slutty hands off of him!"

"Make me, B**ch!"

As the two girls began to fight, Gourry and Zel stopped to enjoy the cat fight, but looking pensive.

And then, of course, they weren't there. They were in a large stadium. With thousands upon thousands of screaming fans, some holding up signs that said, "Chimera Man!" and others that said "Pretty Boy!" Some hip-hoppy music began to play, and Gourry began to walk down to the arena in a light blue pair of shorts, Lina following him in a blue evening gown, white gloves up past her elbows, white high heels and hair all swept up. The Announcer said over the loud speaker, " .......PRETTY BOY GOURRY!" the crowd went wild, "ACCOMPANIED BY LINA THE LOVELY LADY!"

"What the-" Gourry said as he climbed into the ring, then looked back at Lina, "Wow Lina, you look pretty."

Lina blushed and was about to reply when the announcer, well announced his opponent "........THE CHIMERA MAN ZELGADISS!" the crowd once again went nuts as Zel approached in a pair jeans, "ACCOMPANIED BY.....MS. JUSTICE!"

Amelia followed Zel down the ramp to the ring. Zel climbed in and for the first time actually SAW Amelia's outfit. "Oh dear lord!"

"What Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked then looked down and screamed. She was wearing a leather body suit and big leather boots. Around her belt was a pair of handcuffs and a whip.

"I wouldn't mind some of HER justice!" The announcer said over the loudspeaker.

Amelia just blushed badly, then embarassment took over and she fainted.

"Um......Amelia?" Zel asked her.

"Uh Guys? You need to start fighting now......"the announcer said.

Gourry, Lina and Zel were now all standing over Amelia.

Except that Amelia now had on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on. And long red hair. 

"Buffy! There you are!" an older guy with an english accent said, walking over to Lina. "I've been going over the books about possession and...what's wrong with Willow?"

Lina looked around and realized that he was talking to her.

"Wow Lina, you look WEIRD with blonde hair," Gourry said.

"Ah, you look kind of odd with short brown hair," she shot back.

"What! ah....!" Gourry yelled, then ran to a mirror, "My Hair!"

A tall, dark, brooding man walked into the library. He walked over to Lina and kissed her, "Sorry I'm late. Giles, I brought the book you wanted."

Lina, in shock, just stood there, dazed and confused. Gourry had turned around and saw the exchange and his jaw dropped.

"Ah Angel.....I was just doing some research on possesions," Giles said to Angel, who walked over to him.

Amelia began to recover at this time.

"Where are we NOW?" then took a double take at Zel. "You have orange hair."

Zel patted his head and looked over to the mirror. Yup, orange hair with his blue chimera skin still. He shuddered. And he thought the purple was bad.

Just then a couple of men burst into the library. Amelia screamed as they headed over to them to attack them.

"What are they!"

Angel looked at Amelia, "There vampires Willow." 

"Well, what are we supposed to do?" Lina cried.

"Your the slayer, Buffy, SLAY them," Giles said to her.

"How can she do THAT?" Gourry asked him.

"Oh come on, Xander, point, stake, dust," Giles explained.

"Are vampires like Mazouko's, Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked Zel.

"Ah, kind of, except they don't just kill the people, they suck their blood."

"EWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Amelia made a face, then stood up and pointed at them, "In the name of Truth and Justice, I will punnish you!" The vampires then started towards her. Realizing this, she yelled, "Eeek!" and began to run around the library, vampires chasing her.

Suddenly she was running onto a stage. The audience was yelling.

"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

A man walked through the audience with a set of notecards and a black box thingy that he spoke into.

"Today's show is 'Secret Feelings Revealed'. My first guest is a princess from the city of Sairoon, please welcome Amelia Wil Tessa Sailoon!"

Amelia sits down in a chair.

"Welcome to the show Amelia."

"Thank you, Mr.......Um....."

"Springer"

At this the whole audience jumps up and again begins to chant "Jerry! Jerry!"

After the quieted down, Jerry walks up on to the stage and sits down next to Amelia. "Well, Amelia, earlier you told us you had a secret you wanted to reveal to someone...who is that, Amelia?"

"Um......I have no idea what your talking about."

"Come on now, Amelia. Did you or did you not say that you wanted to tell Zelgadiss something?"

"Mr. Zelgadiss? Well, yes, but....."

"Lets bring him out!"

Jerry gets up and Zelgadiss is sent out of the back room. Amelia manages a small "eek". The crowd goes wild. Again.

"Welcome to the show, Zelgadiss!"

"Um..... thanks?"

"Do you know why your here today, Zelgadiss?"

"No, I don't know where I've been anytime today."

"Well, Zel, Amelia's got a secret she needs to share with you."

And the crowd goes nuts.

Zel looks at Amelia, Amelia looks away, beet red.

"Come on Amelia, you need to tell him. You've been hiding your feelings long enough."

Zel looked at her harder, "Amelia, just tell me!"

"Well, I...um..." Amelia stuttered, "Well, remember what I was trying to tell you before we almost got probed?"

Audience makes a lot of "woooo" and "ohhHHHhhhhh"s. Then begin to chant again.

"Yeah.....?"

"Well, I was going to say that.....I like you. A lot. In more than a friendly way."

Once again, the crowd makes a lot of "wooo" and "oohhhHHHHhhhh" sounds, and some obscene gestures, and chants.

Zel stands up at this point, "Oh would you just SHUT UP!"

The crowd chants some more, with even more obscene gestures. One member of the audience, a little moodier than the rest gets up and charges the stage. Steve, the security guy, stops him just in time, though.

And without letting Zel deal with what Amelia had just told him, Jerry went right on with the show, " Lets move on to our next guest, shall we?"

"He's a swordsman from some where or other, give it up for Gourry Gabriev!"

The audience once again claps and chants.

Gourry stumbles on to the stage, eyes wide like a deer's in headlights. He sits down next to Zel.

"Welcome to the show, Gourry!"

"Um, ok?"

"So, why don't you tell us why your here Gourry." 

"Um, well we were following this light and-"

"No, no, why are you on this show?"

"I dunno......just appeared here."

"Back in the green room, you told us that you had a secret you had to reveal to someone. What was that, Gourry?"

"What was....what? Green room?"

"Come on Gourry, don't act dumb-"

"Its not an act," Zel said sarcastically.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia said stunned.

"You said you had to reveal something to Lina. Isn't that right?"

"Um, I guess......"

"Lets bring her out!"

Lina, being kind of pissed off by this point because she's been stuck in back in a little green room for awhile now, "What the HELL is going on?" 

The crowd began to chant again.

"Welcome to the show Lina"

"Like hell its a welcome. I've been stuck in that little green room for a half hour!"

The crowd cheered again.

"There really IS a green room?" Gourry asked her.

"Ok, Lina, Gourry has something he has to tell you. Gourry?"

"I do..?"

"YES!"

"What is it? I don't remember..."

"Ok Gourry, how do you feel about Lina?"

"Oh, well, she's nice. She can be mean and hit me sometimes, but other-"

"No, don't tell me, tell her."

"Ok," turns to Lina, "Well, Lina, we've been traveling together for some time now, and, um..."

Lina, getting a little impatient now, "Yess....?"

"Well, I guess...I, um....."

"Spit it out!" smacks him in the back of the head.

Crowd starts to yell "wooooohoooooo!" and chant.

"Well, I guess I've fallen in love with you!"

Crowd goes "oooohhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lina, Zel and Amelia all look at him shocked.

"Your....what? With me...?"

"So Lina, what do you feel about Gourry?" Jerry asked her as he continued to walk about the audience.

"What? Well....I um....I guess...well. I like him a lot."

Jerry walks up to a girl who has her hand raised.

"Yes?" Jerry points the microphone at her.

"This questions for the blonde over there. How can you Love her? She treats you like &*#$!"

Crowd chants again.

Jerry walks over to a guy. "This questions for Amelia. Why bother with him, I can show you what a REAL mans like!"

Crowd chants yet again.

Up on stage Amelia blushes furiously and Lina looks like she's about to kill someone.

"Hey!" Zel yells to the guy, "Just shut up! I'm more a man than you'll ever be!!"

Crowd is going out of control.

Another audience member has control of the mircrophone, "I think that the blonde guy, Gourry, DESERVES that chic, cause, like if he's stupid enough to travel with someone who abuses him, he's just a dumba@#!"

The Audience is now on their feet chanting.

Gourry blushes, and Lina yells at the girl, "Hey, leave him alone, you bi@#$! He's not stupi - er he's not a dumba#%!"

"Why don't you make me, you hooker!" the audience member yelled.

By now, all hell has broken loose in the audience. People are out of their seats and charging the stage. Steve and his security friends are trying to keep them off. One of the guys sneaks by them and punches Zel in the face, which has no effect on Zel, of course, but breaks the guys hand. As he runs screaming off the stage, Zel, Amelia, Lina and Gourry sneak off the stage.

"And now my final thought," Jerry says into the camera, admist the chaos, "On today's show we revealed secret feelings that our guests had for each other. We all must remember that, although it may hurt us, we should always tell each other what we feel. We may not know how to deal with it, but its never good to keep things bottled up. I'm Jerry Springer, Good Night."

Lina, Gourry, Zel and Amelia are now back stage. A bright light emerges from the ceiling of the green room and then..................

............................... they were back in the cave. And in the chair, with a now empty bowl and laughing uncontrollably is Xellos.

"Xellos, you A@#!" Lina yelled at him, "What's the big idea?"

"Oh, I thought it might be fun to watch you guys....and it was!"

"Funny? I'll show you funny...."then turned to Zel, "my magics back, right?"

Xellos stopped laughing. Zel smirked, "oh yeah."

Lina got a little smirk on her face as well, "Well now Xellos, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Um, well, you guys were really funny..."smiling at them.

"Yeah, but WHY!" Zel asked him angrily.

"That," Xellos said to him, "Is a secret!" and then teleported away, which is a good thing because if he had stayed he would have been hit with two ra-tilts and a fireball.


	2. Slayer in the Movies

**__**

Slayers In The Movies

Another Pointless fic by Amori Malee

________________________________________________

It had been a couple of weeks since their little "adventure" with Xellos. Since then they had not heard from him, which was a nice change. So there they were, the four of them, sitting in the lounge of the inn they had stayed in for the last month, since it was snowing and they couldn't go anywhere (Lets just say, not everyone was getting along=cabin fever^_^), when the front desk clerk came in.

"Um...excuse me? Are you Lina Inverse, and Company?"

"Yeah, that's us," Lina answered, ignoring Zelgadiss's grumblings at the " and company".

"Well, this was left on the front desk for you," she put on a table a medium sized box, wrapped in pink paper with bunny rabbits on it with a big pink bow on top. 

After the clerk had left, Lina looked closer at the gift.

"Who do you think its from, Ms. Lina? " Amelia asked, lifting her teacup to sip.

"Well, whoever it was doesn't have any taste. I mean, L~sama, rabbits? Pink?"

"Pinks not bad..." Amelia mumbled to herself.

"Are you going to open it Lina?" Gourry asked her.

"I was thinking about it Gourry..." Lina replied somewhat sarcastically.

"It seems like a waste to just leave it sitting there." Zelgadiss said, leaning back in his chair, trying to not appear curious.

"Oh come on Zel, we know you looove bunnys, right Zelga-bunny?"

Zel gave Lina the "I-WILL-kill-you" look.

Lina gave Zel the "Not-before-I-dragon-slaved-your-a$$" look.

Amelia looked at both of them with the "Why-can't-we-all-just-get-along" look.

Gourry looked at them with his "Huh?" look. (not different from his regular look ^_^).

"Anyways.....Gourry, Go for it!" Lina tossed him the gift.

"What?" Gourry barely had time to catch the gift before it would have embedded itself into his forehead, "Geez Lina, thanks for the warning!"

Lina grinned, "No problem. Open that sucker up already!"

"Why do I have to?"

"Cause, crabby boy over there is in a mood, and Amelia looks like Fillia with her tea, and frankly its scarrying me!"

Amelia looked up from her tea, "It's really calming Ms. Lina".

"Um....yeah" turning back to Gourry, "OPEN IT!"

"Alright..." Gourry slowly opened it, setting it on the coffee table and slowly unwrapping it. All the others leaned forward a bit to try and see what it was. After an eternity, and only one side of the package unwrapped, Lina grew angry, "L~sama, by the time your done, the rest of shabranigdo will be ressurected!" she grabbed the gift off the coffee table and ruthlessly ripped off the paper and ribbon. Opening the box, she found...nothing but a lot of those little styro-foam S things that they use for packaging.

"What the-" Lina exclaimed, "All this over nothing! Damnit!" she threw the box across the room where it hit a wall and a small black rectangle bounced out of the bottom.

"Ah....what lovely tea....Oh, Ms. Lina, what's that?"

All of them turned to look at the rectangle box that had fallen out.

"What IS that?" Lina asked. Gourry shrugged.

"Actually, I've seen one of those before," Zelgadiss said in a quiet voice.

"Really, where?" Now all of them turned to look at Zel.

"Well, in that cave, where we were with Xellos before. There was one of those right on top of the glowing box."

"Hmmm....." Lina thought. And thought. And thought.

"I know! It must be of SOME value! We'll go to the cave as soon as the snow stops and find out what this is!"

Amelia and Gourry enthusiastically cheered, while Zelgadiss meekly put his fist in the air and said in the flatest voice, "Yeah."

**Outside, as if by some odd coincidence, the snow stopped.**

Early the next day, the group set off from the inn. The plan, get there, find out what the rectangle-thingy, named by Amelia Rectangle-san, was, steal the other one and get back to the inn.

The plan....didn't work.

They got there, Lina checked that off her mental "List of things to do for the day" list. But they couldn't find the other rectangle-san anywhere.

"Hey guys, look!" Zelgadiss was looking intently at a bigger box on top of the glowing box, which presently was the non-glowing box.

"What'd ya find Zel?" Lina asked, as the all rushed to look, pushing Zelgadiss into the box thingy.

"Do you guys mind? It's called P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L space! Get some!" a blush was setting against the chimera skined cheeks since a certain princess was especially pressed against him.

"Look! He's blushing!"

"I am NOT!"

"Anyways, what IS that?" Lina asked, looking at the box-thingy.

"I'm not sure, but its odd that-"

"Hey guys look! It fits in here!" Gourry shoved rectangle-san into the bigger rectangle-sama.

"No Gourry! We don't know what's gonna----" they yelled, but alas in vain. Gourry had already put the box in and the glowing box, formally known as the non-glowing box, began to glow again.

Ah, and there was that tingling feeling, as they all screamed and were YET AGAIN sucked into the boxy thingy.

Once they were gone, Xellos popped into his chair again, ready to have some more fun. "They were soooo amusing last time, I wonder whats on the agenda for today! ||^_^||"

"Not this time Xellos!" a booming voice came out of nowhere.

"What the-?"

****

The day was warm, and sunny. California, near the valley. A school day. A happy blonde in a yellow plaid skirt and jacket ensemble stands in a growing crowd of students witnessing yet another one of her best friends fights with her boyfriend.

"Do I look like I wear these nasty-a$$ kmart extenstions?"

"Baby! Is it that time of the month?"

The whole crowd gasps, as does the girl, who now looks completely lost. "what's going on?"

Her "boyfriend" looks at her, "Amelia?"

"Mr. Zelgadiss? Where ARE we?"

"Thats a good question, "the blonde said to them.

"Lina?" both Amelia and Zelgadiss exclaimed.

"L~sama, don't tell me we have to go thru THIS again!"

"Where's Gourry?"

"I dunno...." just then, perfectly timed, a preppy boy with the sweater-dockers ensemble and a cell phone to his ear walks up to them. 

"Lina?" the guy asked her.

"Gourry? What are you holding?"

"I dunno, but someone's telling me to sell! sell!"

"Sell what Mr.gourry?"

"I have no idea...."

"Thats a shocker," Zelgadiss muttered.

"ANYways, we need to get out of here!" just then the bell rang. "What the heck was THAT!" all of the kids began to file into the school.

"Nows our chance! Lets go-what?!?!?"

They weren't there anymore. They....were dancing. On a bar top. In front of guys. Handing them green paper. Gourry and Zelgadiss among them.

Realizing what they were doing, and who they were doing it to, they quickly pulled their arms back, lest they be snatched off by Lina in a fit of anger. 

Meanwhile Lina and Amelia continued dancing because their feet literally would not stop.

Amelia, almost tearing up, cryed, "L~sama, stop the insanity!"

And it did. For a second or two. Then the four of them were running....why were they running?

"Why are we running!" Amelia yelled.

"I don't know!" Lina yelled back.

"I just have a feeling we should keep running!" Gourry yelled, flaring his arms around.

"I've had enough of this!" Zelgadiss stopped abruptly, causing Gourry to run into him, Lina running into Gourry, and Amelia running into Lina. (chain reaction)

Then, from where they had just been running, a person in a big black robe and a big weird white distorted mask on his head, covering his whole body up. And he ran at them with a big knife.

Lina, Gourry, and Amelia all screamed, "O.O AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Zelgadiss got his cocky look (remember, he's a CHIMERA) and stepped in front of them.

The man charged Zelgadiss and stabbed him with the knife. Suprising, it didn't break off, it went into the hilt and a long stream of red blood came pouring out.

Lina, Gourry and Amelia all screamed again, "O.O AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Zelgadiss, laughed and looked down, saw the blood and stopped laughing. "What the-? I'm bleeding?"

The man pulled the knife back and whipped off his mask.

"Ha Ha! GOTCHA!!! ||^_^||"

(I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.)

"Xellos!!!!" all of them yelled at him.

"How lovely to see you all again! ||^_^||"

Immediately Lina had him in a head lock and on the ground. You god d@#$ mazoku namagomi @#$%@#$#@@!"

"Ms. Lina," Amelia gasped.

"Please! I have nothing to do with this! For once this was not me!" Xellos pleaded, losing feeling in his head.

"Well, who is behind it then? Zelgadiss asked him.

"Sore wa himitsu desu! ||^_~||" immediately after saying that, Zelgadiss was also trying to choke him.

"Mr.Zelgadiss! Ms.Lina!"

"Come on guys, let him go, he can probably help us out of here."

All of them looked at Gourry, having heard him say something that made sense.

"What?" Gourry looked at them and as he watched, they were suddenly somewhere else. Amelia and Xellos were gone, Lina was hanging out of a tree and for some reason he had the strongest urge to say....

"The only way off this planet is through me!" then he blinked, and looked at the gigantic cockroach in front of him. The cockroach that looked like....

"This is NOT amusing...." Mr. Zelga-Roach said.

"Can someone help me out of this tree?"

"I have a really strong urge to eat flesh......" Mr.Zelga-Roach said then turned bluer that the chimera cockroach he was, "Did I just say that? Ew...."

"Hmm...I'm Black...This is interesting..." Gourry had found a shiny metallic paneling of a spaceship with glowing lights and was admiring his self in his suit, "Why do I want to sing about men in black? And how their galaxy protectors?"

"Um Hi guys! See me! Hi! I'm in a TREE! HELP ME OUT HERE!"

And they weren't there any more....But we'll get to that in a second.

Amelia was cold. She could see her breath. Cuddled up in her blanket, she faced the man who was her phsyciatrist and said, in the calmest voice she could, "I see dead people..."

Her Phsyciatrist nodded, "Of course you do! ||^_^|| I'm not really alive! And there's Fred here to my right, and George to my left here, and I don't know what you did to Ralph, but he's pretty pissed! He's standing behind you with a rope!"

Amelia just looked at him, "O.o"

Xellos looked back, "||^_^||"

And then they were all somewhere else. They were on a boat. In the middle of no where, no land anywhere to be seen. And they were all lounging out on the boats tiny deck.

Gourry, who was sitting in a chair and fishing, looked at the others, "This isn't that bad."

Lina groaned, "Please, PLEASE don't jinx us Gourry!'

"Well, what I'm saying is, what could possibly happen?"

Everyone, even including Xellos, groaned.

And then came the music, floating to them out of nowhere.

_Da dum._

"What was that?" Amelia asked

_Da dum._

"I...dunno...." Lina answered, sitting up.

_Da dum. Da dum_

"This CAN'T be good..." Zelgadiss groaned.

_Da dum Da dum Da dum_

"Oh, and you know everything thats good and bad? ||^_^||"

_Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum_

"Shut up Fruitcake!"

_Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum_

"Guys this isn't the time!" Lina yelled at them.

"Guys, whats that in the water over there?" Amelia pointed to a spot a little bit away from the boat.

A black fin broke through the water, coming rapidly towards the boat.

"Uh- oh....." All of them said in unison.

_Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dumDa dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da DA!!!!!!!!!! _

All of them gasped in horror as the fin reached the boat and then suddenly out from the water came.......

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!"

....NAGA!

"Naga?!?!?" all of them yelled (even the ones that never met her before)

"I've finally got you all! OHOHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHO!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" all on the boat, even Xellos, held their hands to their ears and jumped off their boat, swimming away as fast as hummanly, demonly, and chimeraly possible (lets just say Zelgadiss had a real good head start).

Naga stood on the boat and scratched her head. "I wonder what their problem is? Oh well." She then disappeared from the boat.

And somewhere, far far away, A woman sat laughing, watching the show, smoking her cigarette and occasionally sipping her wine.

"I just HAD to see what'd they'd do if I sent Naga in there!" she laughed again and shook back her blonde hair, then put her hand down to pet one of her many wolves. "That'll teach Xellos to have fun without me!"

_____________________________________________________________________

To be continued....yes, I'm sorry, It WILL be! ^_^


	3. Slayers in Reality- Part I

**__**

Slayers in Reality

Yes, the continuation of the pointless fic by 

Amori Malee.

_____________________________________________

It had been a couple of days since they had escaped the accursed Naga. They had all, amazingly, washed up on the same island. But this wasn't Gilligan's Island, or Fantasy Island, or Lodoss, the accursed island. But, it did seem to suck. It was....The Survivor Island!

DA DA DUM!!!!

Slowly Lina sat up, coughing up salt water, thinking of how they had barely escaped certain doom. (not the ocean, Naga.) Then something caught her eye. And made her blush. Badly.

There, standing in front of her akimbo (word for the day, akimbo= hands on hips) was a man. A very NAKED man.

"Welcome to the Island! Here its kill or be kill- er, I mean, you must survive to win the one MILLION dollars," he put a pinky to his lips. Out of nowhere a script hit him in the back of the head. "Oh yeah, wrong story line..."

Xellos looked at the man, then looked at the rest of the gang, then looked at the man, shrugged and smiled evily. Stripping of his clothes, he stood next the man.

"Ahhh! My eyes! They Burn!" Lina screamed and covered her eyes. Amelia fainted. Zel looked ready to fireball Xellos and Gourry was...confused.

"Why's Xellos naked?"

"When in Rome..." Xellos laughed.

"This ain't freaking ROME!!!!" Zel yelled.

"Oh Zel, come on! Strip for us!!!" Xellos taunted. He was immediately chased by Zel, who occasionally threw a couple fireballs at him. 

"Chase me big boy, chase me!" Xellos called back playfully. Not looking where he was going, he was suprised to find himself running into a person. But not any ole person, a very special person.

This person looked at Xellos, saw his nakedness and blushed profusely. Whipping out her mace-sama, she gave her war cry, "NAMAGOMI!!!" and off went Xellos, flying through the air with the greatest of ease, Landing god knows where and away to please. (woah, *chaneling doctor suess* O.O*)

"FILLIA?" They all said, surprised.

"What are you doing here?" Lina asked her.

"Um....I don't know. I was just drinking my tea and then *poof* I was here. Where IS here, anyways?"

"Its Survivor Island!" said the naked man.

"O.O Does the nakedness ever cease!!!" Fillia cryed, then out flew mace-sama, to do as it please, sending away nasty naked man, way over the trees. (Dr. Seuss needs to back off!)

Gourry applauded her and as she curstied, and the rest rolled their eyes, a bunch of people came out of the woods, led by a man all in kaki. 

"Well, you must be the new challengers! Come, its time for a challenge!!"

All of them looked at eachother, shrugged, and decided to go along with the man, since they had nothing else to do.

"Your challenge, new group, which I hearby name Kabula (all of them shared a glance at this time) is to go on a scavenger hunt. Here is your map, list and bag. Collect all you can, then meet us back here when your done, or by nightfall. The group that collects everything gets immunity!!!"

None of them knew what immunity was, or cared since it sounded like a disease, so they didn't question it. And off they were, into the woods.

Amidst their searching, Amelia (who had regained consciousness awhile ago but had been too stunned to say anything)lost the map. Suddenly, they found themselves on the WAY other side of the island.

"Geez, this place is BIG and CONFUSING!" Amelia said, rubbing her temples.

"Well, its wouldn't be so big and confusing if SOMEONE hadn't LOST THE MAP!!!" Lina yelled.

Amelia cringed, Gourry stared at something, Fillia drank some tea, and Zel sighed.

"Yelling at Amelia won't do any good Lina."

"Yeah...well, where ARE we?"

"Hey Lina...."

"I mean, here we are, the middle of nowhere, no IDEA where we are and-"

"Lina..."

"-all we can do is basically walk around in circles! And we can't even use-"

"Lina...."

"-our magic. WHAT IS IT GOURRY!"

Gourry just pointed over yonder and said, "Well, couldn't we just take that bridge to find someone to tell us where we are?"

Lina face faulted and slowly turned to where he was pointing. Sure enough, there in the distance was a bridge, leading across a narrow stream, that led to the main land.

"Um...yeah! Good job Gourry! Let's go guys!"

"But Ms. Lina, don't we have to finish the challenge?"

"Screw the challenge Amelia, lets go get some food!"

And all of them set off, across the rather short bridge across the narrow channel of water, to the main land that you just know was really there in the show because they probably always made trips to like the clubs and stuff like that.....um, I digress.... BACK TO THE STORY!

So, now they found themselves on the main land, next to a road. Of course, they had never seen a paved road before, so they weren't stepping on it, afraid it might be some sort of portal.

Then, a mighty beast came down the road at them. With small horns on the front. 

The animal slowly slowed down before stopping right next to them. Gourry and Zelgadiss, proving that chilvary is NOT dead, stepped in front of the girls, as to protect them.

Something opened from the side of the beast. And a girl popped her head out. All stared at her in amazment. How was she able to manipulate the animal in such a way?

"Hey! You guys! What are you, like, doing on the side of the road?"

"Ummmm....."

"Hey, do you guys, like, want a ride?"

"Sure....." Lina said, not sure of what to say.

"Ok, come on in, we were just having diner-"

This was all that was needed for Lina and Gourry to head for the beast. Zel, Fillia and Amelia all shared a glance, shrugged, and also entered the animal.

*15 minutes later*

The animal, apparently known as "winie" stopped outside a house. The door flew open and out went flying Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Fillia, no one was able to pick up Zel so the told him to get the hell off.

"GO KNOCK ON THAT DOOR, YOU HUMAN-TRASH CANS! I'M SURE THEY'LL LOOOVE YOU!" the girl shouted as the "winie" was driving away. Squealing tires could be heard.

"Rude!" Lina yelled at them, shaking her fist.

"Well, you did eat all their food Ms. Lina," Fillia noted, sipping her tea.

"So what? They ASKED if we were hungry!"

Zelgadiss sighed and got up. Curiousity, like the cat, crept over him and he went to the door and knocked on it. They all gathered around, waiting to see what was behind door number 1.

The door flew open and their, in a purple robe, purple ascot, blue Zelga-bunny slippers and blowing bubbles out of a pipe was....

"Xellos!" (you expected someone else? Who, Hugh?)

"My, I was wondering when you would all get here! Troubles on fantasy island?"

Lina smacked him on the head, "Wrong Island!" As Gourry, for some odd reason, pointed to the sky and said, "De plane! De Plane!"

Ignoring Gourry, they all looked at Xellos. "What are you doing here, Mr. Xellos?" Amelia asked him.

"Sore wa himitsu desu!" Xellos winked and smiled. ||^_~|| "Anyways, come in! Come in! The other people are here!"

Curiousness over toke them and the followed him in.

What they found in the living room was the oddest of all.

___________________________________________________________________

To Be Continued..... ^_^ 

Amori Malee likes people who reveiw ^_^


	4. Slayers in Reality- Part II

**__**

Slayers In Reality- Part 2

The continuation of the continuation of the pointless fic by Amori Malee.

_____________________________________________

This is a real story. What happens if you put a lot of different characters from different animes together in one house? What happens when they stop being polite and get real. The Anime Real World.

"O.o Where'd that voice come from?" Amelia wondered out loud.

"We don't know, but it happens every time a new person arrives." a blonde with pigtails said.

As they went around, they introduced themselves. 

"Hi! I'm Sailor Moon, champion of Love and Justice!" 

"JUSTICE!!" Amelia gets all starry-eyed.

"And I'm Tuxedo Mask!"

"Geez, couldn't tell with the Tuxedo and the mask..." Zelgadiss grumbled.

"I'm Misty! I'm a pokemon trainer-in-the-making!" a red haired girl said cheerfully, who sounded suspiciously like Martina.

"And I'm Brock! I'm a pokemon breeder-in-the-making!"

All looked from Brock to Gourry, then back again.

"Hey! That's my voice!" Gourry yelled at him, "Give it back!"

"No, it's my voice! And YOU give YOURS back!"

They continued on like that for awhile.

"I'm Parn! Sworn Defender and Knight of Lodoss! And this is Deedlit! She's a high Elf!!"

"Hello...." Deedlit waved slightly.

Gourry stopped in his argument with Brock. "Hey Lina, she's got your voice! Their a bunch of voice snatchers, thats what they are!"

A man with blue hair walked forward, "We did not steal your voices! I'm Spark, Knight-in-training!"

Zelgadiss stared at him, "My god..."

Gourry pointed again, "See! See! Theif! Theif!"

Amelia, Fillia and Xellos were glad that they didn't have any voice doubles (that I can think of).

Well, while all of them were fighting, they didn't notice 5 1/2 suspicious-looking shadows in the doorway.

Suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping on the houses floor, a staff with a "cling cling" here and a "clang clang" there.

Zelgadiss looked up in shock, "No! It can't be!"

Yes, yes it was.

There was Rezo, floating into the room, that cool way he does where it looks like he's not really walking. "Cling cling"

"Hello Dear Friends"

"AHHHHH! YOUR DEAD!" Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Zelgadiss yelled. Fillia looked confused and Xellos was grinning.

"Ah, but I was sent here, friends."

Zelgadiss opened his mouth to say something, but was cut short by an explosion in the doorway. Suddenly out of nowhere lights flashed on a girl with hair that no gel could hold.

"Prepare for Trouble!"

A man joined her, with a funky blue do, "And Make It Double!"

"To Protect The World From Devistation!"

"To Unite All People Within Our Nation!"

"To Denounce The Evils Of Truth And Love!"

"HEY!" Sailor Moon and Amelia yelled.

"To Extend Our Reach To The Stars Above!"

"Jesse!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket Blast Off At The Speed Of Light!"

"Surrender Now or Prepare To Fight!"

"That's Right!" a weird looking cat jumped in.

"Ahh! A talking cat!" Everyone except Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask and Rezo yelled.

"Whats so weird about that?" a purple cat with a crescent moon on its forehead walked in.

"Ahh! Another one!"

A white one with the same marking walked in, "What's the problem?"

"Ahh! And Another one!"

A little pink cat walked in, "Huh?"

"Ahhh! That ones Kawaii!"

A pink pig tailed girl walked in.(no, not kera)

"Thats MY kitty!"

All the girls except Lina and Sailor Moon cried, "Ahh! She's Kawaii!"

A younger red haired girl with the pigtails walked in, "Chibi Chibi!"

"AHHH! SHE'S KAWAIIEST!"

At this time all the guys ears were bleeding from the high pitched girl voices.

While all the screaming had taken place, Ashrum and Demando had entered, not wanting to cause too big a scene. Suddenly Ashrum attacked Parn.

"We will have one last fight, Knight of Lodoss!"

So they fought, Deedlit standing to the side watching her man fight.

Demando crept over to Sailor Moon and pulled her to him, "I have you now!"

"I don't think so!" and with that, Tuxedo Mask threw a rose at him, making him lose his grip on Sailor Moon. Zelgadiss blinked and looked at him.

"A....Rose?"

"How Romantic!" Amelia sighed, hearts in her eyes.

"..." Zelgadiss pouted.

Meanwhile Lina and Deedlit were having a nice conversation while watching Parn and Ashrum fight. Gourry, Spark and Brock were listening to Rezo tell them how to keep their hair in tip top shape, Jesse and James were having a tea party with Fillia and Misty. Rini had meanwhile changed into chibi moon and was fighting with Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon against Demando. Chibi Chibi had made her adorable way over to none other than.....

"What do you want?" Xellos asked, looking down.

Chibi Chibi looked up with those red eyes, much like Lina's come to think of it... "What do you want? chibi chibi."

"||^_~|| Sore wa himitsu desu!"

"||^_~|| Sore wa himitsu desu! chibi chibi."

"Hey! Thats my line!"

"Hey! Thats my line! chibi chibi."

Zelgadiss and Amelia, meanwhile, had been listening in on this conversation and were laughing greatly. Well, Amelia was laughing, Zelgadiss had a big ole smirk on his face. Leaning over, he whispered something into chibi chibi's ear.

"Xellos is a fruitcake! chibi chibi."

"Hey!"

"Hey! chibi chibi!"

"Mr. Zelgadiss!"

"Mr. Zelgaidss! chibi chibi."

"It isn't Just to teach children names!"

"...Names! chibi chibi."

Suddenly, interuppting their conversation came Sailor Moon.

She began to twirl around crazily like an ice skater, hitting a couple of people with her hair, "Moon.....Spiral....Heart...Attack!"

While the attack hit Demando, everyone in the room, except Amelia, Tuxy, Rini and chibi chibi sweatdropped. 

"Wow! What a true Ally of Justice!!"

Demando, who was now "moon-dusted" picked up his beaten a$$ and left the house pouting. Ashrum, who had just barely lost to Parn, also took his broken a$$ out de house. 

"Let's hear it for PARN! Puh-Puh-PARN! Puh-Puh-PARN!" Deedlit excitedly clapped her hands and did a cheer. Spark immediately joined in. The rest just stood around, dumbfounded.

"That looks like fun!" Gourry said, and would have joined in, if not for a firm fist to the head by Lina.

Rezo opened his mouth to say something and then *pop*. He was gone.

"Where'd Rezo go?" James asked. Zelgadiss felt like cheering now.

Jesse was about to say something, when she too disapeared, then meoweth, then James, then Misty and Brock. 

*pop**pop**pop**pop**pop*

"Sailor Moon! I sense danger!" Luna cried, then she too went *pop*

"Luna! Oh no!" Artemis than went *pop* as well.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Diana went *pop*

"Diana!" Rini went *pop*

"Rini!" *pop*

"Tuxy!" *pop*

"Sailor M-" Amelia started, but was cut off by Zel's hand. 

"Haven't you figured out that if you yell their name, you go to!"

All of the remaining cast-er, roomates look at chibi chibi.

"Chibi-chibi!" the little girl smiled at them and skipped over to Lina and glomped her.

"O.o um......hi?"

"Hi chibi chibi!"

"Uh-huh...." 

"Now she's copying you Lina!" Gourry exclaimed, pointing.

"...Lina, chibi chibi!"

Spark looked suspiciously around. "We don't know who could be next...it could be you or me-" Spark went *pop*

"Spark!" Parn yelled, and went *pop*

"Parn!" Deedlit yelled, and to went *pop*

"Parn! Chibi chibi!"chibi chibi cheerfully said, and three went *pop*.

Now there were only 6.

Xellos read the day planner, and said in that tone of his, "Time for confessions!"

"Whats a confession?" Lina asked him.

"Well....." Xellos decided to lie to them...well, partially lie. "A confession is when you tell all.....sooooo its Truth or Dare!"

"What?!?!?!?!" they all exclaimed.

"Yup, and we have to do it, or else we'll go pop...so, I'll go first! Zelgadiss, Truth or Dare?"

"Do I really have to?" Zelgadiss grumbled. Well, not wanting to go *pop* made him answer. "Truth."

"What do you really REALLY think of Amelia, really."

"Dare." 

"Nope! Too late!" Xellos grinned, "I'll tell you what I think....."

"Nobody cares what YOU think..." Zelgadiss cut in.

".....I think she's a sexy princess!" Xellos ran a finger down Amelia's arm and she shuddered.

"Hey, HEY! Knock that off!" Zelgadiss yelled at him and sat down in between Amelia and Xellos.

"Come on, Zelly, answer!" Xellos began to whine.

"Um...alright, I think Amelia is ......." he began to talk so quietly that all of them, who were now sitting in a circle on the floor, had to lean forward to hear.

"What?" Xellos said loudly.

"I said, I think she's......" once again, too quietly to be heard.

Now they were all leaning in closer. "What??" Xellos said again.

"I SAID I THINK SHE'S SMART, AND PRETTY AND....."

All had flown back at the sudden loudness.

"And.......Sexy? A dreamboat? Gorgeous? A Goddess?" Xellos coaxed.

"YES, ALRIGHT! YES I THINK SHE'S THE SEXIEST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN! ALRIGHT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?????!!!"

Xellos grinned and said, "yup!" while all the others looked at him, wide eyed. O.O

Zel, feeling completely embarassed now, continued on with the game. Ah...but he would not suffer alone....No, he would take them all down with him.

"Fillia....Truth or Dare?"

"Of course truth...." Fillia sipped some tea.

"Do you find Xellos sexy?"

Fillia spit out her tea. "WHAT?!?"

"Do you find Xellos sexy?"

"That namagomi! A...A mazoku?"

"Answer the question!"

"Now now Fillia, don't lie, " ||^_^||

"I...I....I...." Fillia fainted.

All looked at eachother, not sure of what to do. Zelgadiss decided that his turn wasn't yet up so he chose another victim.

"Gourry...Truth or Dare?"

"Truth or Dare what?"

"Pick one, truth or Dare?"

"Um....Dare?"

Zelgadiss grinned evily. Yes, he does have some demon in him, plus he was an embarassed chimera who wanted to share his pain with others. Literally.

"Kiss Lina."

Gourry and Lina both blushed and looked away from eachother.

"KISS KISS KISS KISS!" Xellos cheered.

Amelia poured herself a glass of Fillia's tea and decided to ignore them, still blushing from Zelgadiss and Xellos's earlier comments.

"Um......" Gourry said.

"Kiss her, damnit!" Zelgadiss ordered.

"Now look! I'm not going to-"

"Kiss her!" Zelgadiss practically growled.

Gourry looked at Lina. Lina looked from Zelgadiss back to Gourry, giving them both the "I'm-so-going-to-kill-you-both" look.

"Don't give me that I'm-so-going-to-kill-you look. Kiss the guy and get over with it."

"Easy for you to say!" He would pay.

Gourry got one of those bright ideas, that doesn't happen much. While Lina was glaring at Zel, he leaned in and pecked her on the cheek. Lina blushed and Zel yelled, "That doesn't count!"

"Yeah! That doesn't count!" Xellos echoed Zel.

"Shut up Mazoku! You didn't specify!"

Gourry looked at Amelia, "Truth or Dare?"

Amelia looked up from her tea, "Um.....truth."

"Do you really like tea that much?"

"Um.....its ok."

Zelgadiss, Xellos and Lina were upset at this. "Thats it? Thats all your going to ask?!?!?"

Gourry shrugged and Amelia looked from Lina to Xellos, trying to decide on which one to ask.

"Um........Lina....truth or dare?"

Lina glared at her, "Truth."

Amelia thought. And thought. And thought. What could she ask without receiving bodily harm.... "Why did you leave home?"

Everyone looked at Lina, waiting for the answer. Lina shrugged, "Well, it was boring, I felt restrained, so I left. Plus there was this little matter of my sister threatening to kill me the next time I saw her 'cause I sold passes to where she bathed when she was there one night..."

All of them looked at her wide eyed. "What?" It was now Lina's turn to grin evily at Xellos. "Truth or Dare"

Xellos, always up for a challenge, said "Dare"

"I dare you to.......KISS ZELGADISS!"

Zelgadiss managed an "eep" before Xellos was jumping at him. Getting up and running away, Xellos gave chase, and everyone watched as they ran around the house. It was a good chase, since Xellos had his demon speed, but Zelgadiss was a chimera, so all you saw was a blue and a purple streak zooming around the room.

Fillia woke up around this time, and groggily sat up. Xellos had just caught Zelgadiss, and was about to lay a smack on him, when Zel suddenly grabbed Fillia and put her in his place. Lip to lip, Fillia began to blush, then came her war cry again "NAMAGOMI!!" and out came mace-sama, not sending Xellos flying anywhere, just leaving him a blob on the floor.

Lina, meanwhile, had had enough of this. Standing up, she yelled, "This is so stupid! You know whoevers behind this is just sitting there, waiting, watching us," Lina put her arms out and twirled a bit, yelling, "What are you waiting for! We're right here!" and was promptly hit with a script again. "Oops...yeah, that was last story line...."

And, as if listening, they weren't there anymore. Lina, Gourry, Zelgadiss and Amelia were in the cave again, where they had began, and were now facing the formally glowing box, that was the non-glowing box, which had been the glowing box. It wasn't glowing. Xellos and Fillia were nowhere to be found.

"So, who WAS behind this?" Amelia thought out loud.

"I was..." They all turned to see a blonde woman sitting in the chair, a cigarette in one hand, black box thingy in another.

They all gasped.

"Your....Your...." Lina stuttered.

"Yes, I'm Zellas Mettalium. Sorry to have ruined your day, but you were soooo fun. I'm glad you could be used to teach my Xellos a lesson. He's been having too much fun without me." 

"Um...so where's Xellos now?" Gourry asked.

"And Ms. Fillia?" Amelia asked as well.

"I sent Fillia back home and, well....Xellos is still being punished."

**** 

In another world, far far away, a new sailor scout is born....Her/his name is Sailor Secret, as he/she bounds out in a purple sailor outfit and short skirt.... but thats another story I'll probably NEVER get into.....

****

Later that night, back at the inn, they realized that time had stood still while all that had happened. After a large dinner and some recapping over the days events, they all went up to bed.

Lina had fought for her own room, and of course, had won. Putting on her pajamas, the over sized shirt she had stolen from Gourry, she sat at the dressing desk and brushed her hair. There was a knock at the door. Putting down the brush, Lina went to find Gourry standing on the other side.

"Um...hi..." Gourry stuttered slightly.

"Hi..."

"Can I come in?"

"Um...yeah..."

****

Amelia laid in bed and sighed, thinking of what Zelgadiss had said earlier. Did he really like her? Hearing voices in Lina's room, which was next to hers, she realized Zel would be alone.

Sitting up in bed and talking to herself she said, "I'm tired of wondering, I'll go ask him!" and putting on her bunny slippers and robe, she quietly walked out of the room and to Zelgadiss's. 

She knocked on the door that was quickly answered by Zel. "Um...Hi...I thought we could talk...." she said, suddenly feeling shy.

Zelgadiss blushed a bit and let her in the room. "um...ok...."

****

"Lina, why didn't you want to kiss me before?" 

"What?"

"Well, when we were playing that game, you got all mad and-"

"Well, it's not you...it's just that I didn't want to be sitting in front of all of them if-"

"So, you wouldn't mind if I kissed you, just not in front of them all."

"Well, I guess so....Hey, what-" Lina was cut off by Gourry pasionately pulling her into his musclular arms and kissing her deeply with all the love they shared. (sorry, has read too many romance novels ^_^;;;)

****

Meanwhile, back at the bat cave, I mean....Zelgadiss's room, Amelia and Zelgadiss were sitting there, trying to talk.

"So...um......Mr.Zelgadiss....Um......about earlier today..."

"Um...yeah...well, Xellos....um, just got me mad and um...."

"Oh."

"I mean, no, I didn't mean um...."

"So you didn't mean what you said?"

"YES! I mean NO! I mean...I do think your all those things....." he trailed off.

"You do!?"

"Umm...yeah..."

"Oh Mr. Zelgadiss! I like you too!"

Zelgadiss blushed. Amelia happily walked to the door.

"Now that I know, I can actually sleep..."

Zelgadiss joined her at the door and opening it for her, drew her into his rock hard body (literally) and, tilting her chin up with a fingertip, said gently "Sweet dreams" then lightly as air kissed her gently on the lips.(damn romance novels warp your brain, I tell ya! ^_^;;)

Amelia blushed and said softly, "Sweet dreams to you too." and stepping back, into the hallway, turned towards her room and saw.....

Gourry, kissing Lina in her doorway. They stopped at the same time and looked down the hall at them. Blushing profusely, Lina stepped back into her room, slamming the door as Zelgadiss did the same thing. Gourry and Amelia tried to non-chalantly walk by eachother, Gourry even whistling like nothing happened. Amelia got to Lina's room and, while walking by, was grabbed by lina, who had flung the door open, and was pulled in for girl talk. Gourry shrugged and continued to his room with Zelgadiss.

****

"Oh My God! He Kissed me!" Lina exclaimed.

"Zel kissed me too!"

"Oh my god!"

"I can't believe it!"

"This is sooo cool!"

Both girls continued to babble on about how cool it was.

****

Back in Zelgadiss and Gourry's room, Gourry had just walked in. 

"So, you and Lina huh?" Zel asked.

"Yp, you and Amelia?" Gourry asked.

"Yup...Well, g'night."

"G'night"

And hence ended guy talk.

______________________________________________________________

And hence ends my story that feels like it just went on for EVER! I hope you all enjoyed it...^_^ 


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